Once I was loved.

  A long time back, 1981 to be exact, I had thought I  had married the love of my life. She was all i wanted her to be. A three year engagement gave us each time to  know the other rather well before tying the know at the JP's office, What fun we had. Or so I thought. Perhaps I was young and misguided. As was she.  I felt loved thought, then, back in those days;before and after our marriage.  I had married for life.

  But time is a cruel master and we are but a slave to it. 31 and a half years later she divorced me. Oh-we had had our problems and issues-as any couples that have been together that long will have. But I was always faithful to her. So much so that I was considered "safe" by others ladies who may see other men as a threat. In a way i hated that tag-in a way i held it with honor. It spoke of my character.

  But not her. She cannot say the same. She committed adultery-so many times over. And i could never catch her-although I  felt that something was wrong. I worked days and she nights. Or visa versa. Perhaps that kept us apart-but it also gave her ample time to cheat.

   And then I caught her. No, not in the act. but a jilted lover gave her away-with her in my presence. From then on I could never truly love her-and she refused to love me. Guess she was hooked on cock from others. She was shamed, caught, but yet she still refused to apologize or try to make amends. it was as if she was proud of and that i deserved it!!

So-while I felt loved, once, i did not no longer. Now the thought and sight of her repulses me. She was a fraud. Her heart was never in the relationship. Or, I it was-it left years ago-as she had been cheating for some time.

So screw women and screw relationships. Yes, I'm lonely. Terribly so. And that is how I shall remain. I will never let another women hurt me as she did again!!!! i have trust issues now. Unless i can find a younf lady that loves me-for me(as I am) truly, madly , deeply I am done. And I don't foresee that happening.

I am done.

Love once, I was.

But no more.